The Grand Old Captain Kirk

Tune: "A-Hunting We Will Go"

The Grand Old Captain Kirk
He Had A Thousand Men,
He Beamed 'em Up To The Enterprise
Everyone stands up
And Beamed 'em Down Again.
Everyone sits down
And When You're Up Your Up,
Everyone stands up
And When You're Down Your Down,
Everyone sits down
And When You're Only Half Way Up,
Everyone half-way up
You're Nowhere to Be Found.