Quartermaster's Song, The

There are snakes, snakes, snakes
Big as garden rakes,
At the store! At the store!
There are snakes, snakes, snakes,
Big as garden rakes, at the Quartermaster's store.

My eyes are dim I can-not see.
I have not got my specs with me.
I have HEY! Not HO! got my specs with me.

There are mice, mice, mice
Running though the rice,
At the store! At the store!
There are mice, mice, mice,
Running through the rice, at the Quartermaster's store.


Continue with each of the following:

  • Lice ... living on the mice.
  • Rats ... big as alley cats.
  • Roaches ... big as football coaches.
  • Watches ... big as sasquaches.
  • Bears ... but no one really cares.
  • Beavers ... with little meat cleavers.
  • Foxes ... stuffed in little boxes.
  • Goats ... eating all the oats.
  • Bees ... with little knobby knees.
  • Owls ... shredding paper towels.
  • Apes ... eating all the grapes.
  • Turtles ... wearing rubber girdles.
  • Bear ... with curlers in its hair.
  • Buffalos ... with hair between their toes.
  • Foxes ... stuffed in little boxes.
  • Flies ... swarming 'round the pies.
  • Fishes ... washing all the dishes.
  • Moths ... eating through the cloths
  • Soot ... they grow it by the foot.
  • Scouts ... eating brussel sprouts.
  • Leaders ... slapping at the skeeters.

More Food Options:

  • Beans ... as big as submarines.
  • Gravy ... enough to float the navy.
  • Cakes ... that give us tummy aches.
  • Eggs ... with scaly chicken legs.
  • Butter ... running in the gutter.
  • Lard ... they sell it by the yard.
  • Bread ... with great big lumps like lead.
  • Cheese ... that makes you want to sneeze.
  • Coke ... enough to make you choke.
  • Pepsi ... that gives you apoplexy.