I was born a hundred thousand years ago. (YEARS AGO)
And there's nothing in this world I do not know. (DO NOT KNOW)
I saw Peter, Paul, and Moses playing ring-around the roses,
And I'll lick the guy who says it isn't so. (IT ISN'T SO)
It's a lie; It's a lie ; Ship ahoy, ship ahey, ship a hi-hi-hi!
Oh, I've sailed the seven seas and I've sniffed the salty breeze,
But I never, ever, ever saw a mermaid. (A MERMAID)
I was there when Satan looked the garden o'er. (GARDEN O'ER)
I saw Adam and Eve a'driven from the door. (FROM THE DOOR)
I was round the corner peekin' at the apple they was eatin'
I can prove I was the guy that ate the core. (ATE THE CORE)
I was there when Ceasar crossed the Rubicon. (RUBICON)
I'm the guy who built the raft he crossed it on. (CROSSED IT ON)
I saw Nero burning Rome, and Hannibal at home.
I even saw the fall of Babylon. (BABBLE ON)
I saw Washington afloat a cake of ice. (CAKE OF ICE)
I saw Sherman, Lee, and Grant a shakin' dice. (SHAKIN' DICE)
I saw Roosevelt's great laugh that split his face in half,
While Pershing set a trap for German mice. (GERMAN MICE)
You may thing that all this bunk, it isn't true. (IT ISN'T TRUE)
But what difference does it really make to you? (MAKE TO YOU)
I've been feeding you this line just to pass away the time,
And now I'm going to quit because I'm through. (YOU'RE THROUGH)